Coworker Leaves Goodbye

Feeling Sad or Confused When a Coworker Leaves? It’s OK.

We said goodbye to four people at work in the past two weeks. It’s so bittersweet when someone leaves. Sometimes we might be frustrated or annoyed with a coworker, and we couldn’t be happier to see them off.

Other times we grow strong bonds and develop professional and personal relationships with coworkers, which makes it that much more difficult to say goodbye.

Straight outta college

When I entered the workforce fresh out of college, I felt like I had nothing in common with my coworkers.

I didn’t give myself a break after graduation, and quickly grew restless since most of my friends were still in college while I was chilling at home, surfing job boards.

Just three weeks after graduation, I started working full time. My coworkers were very nice, and very smart. But they were more than twice my age. I don’t have kids, I’m not married, and I certainly didn’t have any hobbies at the time.

I remember someone asked, “So what do you do for fun?”

I was confused, and I didn’t even know how to answer such a SIMPLE question. Instead, I answered honestly with a smile, “Now that I’m out of college, I’m not really sure what to do with myself.” I was so lost.

The next company I worked for consisted mostly of men and just two other women – again, all very nice, but at 22 years old, it wasn’t my cup of tea.

I became a little depressed since I still hadn’t seen much of my college friends. Plus, all I did was work. I didn’t hang out…I just worked and came home.

Soon, I learned that the husband and wife who owned the company weren’t following through with customer requests, and they started pushing strange things on us with sage, salt at the front door (I kid you not), and incense. That’s when I knew I had to get out of there.

Build a netWORK

I quickly moved on to work at Universal Studios to fulfill a ridiculous but rewarding goal: to work at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. #nerdingout. I had a blast, and I loved every minute working at Universal.

I worked in Toon Lagoon at a temporary location in merchandise, and then transferred to open Diagon Alley once they finished construction. Working at Universal was a lot of hard work, but the guests were fantastic, my managers and coworkers were great, and I made so many friends.

All the social skills I had acquired in college came rushing back. I learned how to find common interests again, regardless of who I was talking to, their age, or their life story. That got me back in the groove of finding commonalities with people, hanging out and having a life OUTSIDE of work.

Working at Universal gave me the confidence to meet people again, and to expand my network. Thankfully, I carried that with me to my current job, where I’ve been for nearly 4 years now.

Cry and move on

It hurts when you have to say goodbye. A LOT. Give yourself time to express those emotions…and then, move on. Your ex-coworkers are on to bigger and better things, moving along every day. You should too.

I was pretty upset when I left Universal. I left on good terms, but I only said goodbye to a handful of people. It was too much to say goodbye to EVERYONE I met. So I gave myself alone time, thought about it, cried, and eventually moved on.

A year and a half later, I said goodbye to a very close coworker. She was the first person I’d trusted and confided in since college.

We went to dinner, exchanging stories, and then she told me she’d be leaving the company and moving to a new city within the next month or so. Again, I cried, said goodbye, and then re-focused. I wrote a lot during that time, confiding in my journal and re-evaluating what I was doing and how I was feeling. I learned a lot during that time.

Focus on your work. Focus on developing and maintaining professional relationships with quality people. Keep yourself busy with what you’re there for: work!

Keep in touch

If you were close with an ex-coworker, make it a point to reach out every few weeks. Or, if you were work besties, reach out every day! Find out what they’re up to.

A quick text, email, or even a phone call really helps. My friend and I schedule a phone call once every month or so, and we chat for a good 2 hours to catch each other up.

Hang out when it’s convenient for both of you and your schedules. It might take a little more effort this time around since you can’t just meet up around the corner during lunch. But it will be worth it!

A college friend of mine continued onto medical school after graduating with her undergraduate degree. She studied in another COUNTRY, so phones were out of the question. Instead, we wrote to each other, exchanging creative letters with stickers and drawings. It gave us something to look forward to, something tangible.

Respect boundaries

When you’re catching up with your coworker, don’t gossip about problems or people at your current job. Remember: your friend moved on. Either your friend is over it, OR he or she wants the dish on what’s going on in your life now.

Gossip doesn’t add anything to the conversation, and it may get you in trouble later down the line with your current coworkers and employer.

Keep the conversation focused on the positives. Take an interest in what your friend is up to now. Ask your friend about his or her goals.

Listen. Leave room for pauses, room for the conversation to continue, and let your friend shine.

Coworker Cycle

We meet new people every single day. Every day, every week, every month, every year. Making friends at work – or getting acquainted enough that you can work with someone – is all part of the work cycle.

Stay focused, stay out of trouble, and stay in touch with ex-coworkers who matter.

Don’t gossip, but do share good, personal news with each other. It makes saying goodbye a lot less difficult!

If you have a story about a coworker leaving, I’d love to hear about how you felt and what you did to cope with the situation. Let me know in the comments below!

9 thoughts on “Feeling Sad or Confused When a Coworker Leaves? It’s OK.

  1. Another one to share, as many here in my office have left and another leaving next week……Go Kelly, great articles.

    1. Melissa, thanks so much for reading and sharing! I’m sorry to hear you’ve seen a lot of coworkers leave. It’s emotional, but it can also be stressful re-filling positions and training new people. I’m glad you are enjoying these posts. Thanks again for stopping by. 🙂

  2. My BFF Claudia just told me today her last day is Saturday. I been all over the place with emotions. Happy, sad, angry. I wish I had time to absorb her knowledge. Throw a party. Just more time. My work place is a place I dont feel accepted or included. I feel like such an outsider it sucks. But claudia always made me feel included and made the days fun. She is so trusting and supportive. My heart hurts thinking of next week and knowing she wont be around to talk talk to. I havent found a good coping other then crying and googling if how im.feeling is normal. I came across your article. We have worked closely for the past year. I’m gonna be so lost….. I dont even want to work tomorrow.

  3. My colleague just had her last day today and we threw her a farewell lunch. We both work in childcare and I see her as a mentor and her presence makes me feel more sane and connected. She’s very encouraging and always sees the best in everyone and she always made me believe in myself even if I don’t. I felt shocked and stressed when I heard the resignation but understanding came through: she needed time to look after her elderly parents who are both ailing and have multiple health problems. I was on early shift that day and I got to say goodbye to her with a smile and she offered to be my job referee should I decide to work elsewhere. This is something I’m very thankful for. Even if she’s not at work anymore, there is a way to keep in touch.
    Right now at home, I’m grieving in sadness because I know it’s going to be hectic with her gone. She has impacted my work philosophy and I never want to forget the wisdom and kindness she gave me. I know things will become a new normal and I will step up to further bond with my other colleagues. It’s hard and I know I’ll miss her but knowing she’s not regretting to spend more time with her parents, I will always support her decision and I felt she’s made the right call.

  4. Im having a hard time with my boss of 16 years deciding to retire. I’m actually having panic attacks. Not only was he a great boss but a good friend that i seen as a father figure. I feel trapped and cant do a thing about it

  5. I started working as a manager at a small retail store 5 months ago. I work second shift, and there’s only ever two people working second shift. My usual coworker was Darrell, a 67-year-old man that was a retired psychologist and youth pastor. I grew to look up to and view as a father figure (my father was killed when I was 14). Darrell helped me find God, and taught me how to be a man, all in 5 short months. Three weeks ago he put in his notice that he was leaving to go back to his previous job, and today was his last day. He gave me a little book he had his sister make for me about the ten commandments, hugged me, and told me that he loved me as we locked up the store together for the last time. I’ve been crying for the past 2 hours and finding your article made me feel better, knowing that I’m not alone.

  6. Reading this post because I still cant over resignation of a coworker. It’s been 3 days already since his last day and I still feel very, very sad. He’s been around at work for years but we only got to work together on a project that would be his last in the company. Grown attached to him because he was approachable, very nice, and not a d!ck. He would share with me over Skype some jokes and some random funny things about our other coworkers. There was a change in his behaviour though in his last week – he’s been serious. Sad that he didn’t say goodbye to me personally, he just sent a farewell message to the company.

  7. I’m having a hard time with a coworker who just left without telling anyone about it and hearing it from the boss that this person left. I was in complete shock because I didn’t see it coming at all. I felt close to this person work wise and feel hurt he didn’t tell us he was leaving. It’s like a slap in the face, how could this person not tell our team he was leaving? If I found a new job I would definitely let others know I was leaving as I feel it’s a kind thing to do compared to leaving them in the dark and wondering where they are ☹️ what can I do? I feel betrayed in a way. Thought about looking up the person who left and adding them onto my social media page as I would like to keep in touch with this person as I felt we had a good working report. I can only hope he would feel the same way and accept my friend’s request and if not then I guess he didn’t feel the same way?

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